What The?

Let me start by saying, I love the Twins. And I love seeing the Twins on TV. But what in the heck is up with all the commericals boys? Justin, you are in a McDonalds commercial? For the love of God, why? Please explain that to me. I know you think being a "bat man" instead of a "pitch man" is cute, but it makes me think of you in  black rubber. And not in a good way.

To be fair, it's not just you, Justin. Joe Mauer, your commercials aren't all that funny either. It's cute that you are working with your mom, but I don't believe you eat ice cream. I'm sorry, I just don't.

Maybe this just stems from the fact that I sat in the rain and watched the Twins lose on Saturday. Or the fact that I used to work at McDonalds and I have nightmares. Whatever it is, please stick with the baseball boys. Look at Jason Kubel. He's on fire, with yet another homerun tonight against the Rockies. And ... no cheesy commercials. That's our boy.

Squirrel!

I love it. Thanks for helping A-Rod strike out little squirrel.

Check out our new mascot.

Sorry..

My appologies to our readers. I haven't been showing my face around here for awhile. Must just be that I'm busy with a 2 year old and life. Maybe. Though I'm still catching as many Twins games as they show in WI, like 1 per week. Other times I just have to follow the dots on Gameday. But I digress...

I think that lately my problem isn't that I've been too busy. Clearly from the state of my house and "overly busy" social life (HA!), I'm not that busy. I think that my problem has been that the Twins are WINNING. Holy crap. I mean good way to start the season, let's keep it up, and all. Overall, I'm happy with the win column being larger than the loss column. But it sure does make my job as a blogger hard. Ugh. As long as they're winning games that they should and staying ahead of the pack, I have relatively NOTHING of which to make fun of them for. Sure, I could go on all day about the boys' good looks, manly arms, and sexy batting. But really, who wants to hear all that?? I mean, you read this blog BECAUSE we poke fun at people. It's the best part, the cherry on top, the double stuff filling in the oreo....

Now, because I have little fodder for this blog, I've had to resort to Facebook and Twitter stalking to find little gems with which to poke fun at our favorite Twins with. Google and YouTube are also useful in this persuit. Yesterday I found this picture when googleing Michael Cuddyer:

You can draw your own conclusions about aaaaaaalll the jokes I could make. But I try to keep it Klassy. At any rate, maybe I will have to start posting more of the funny things people have seen our Twins do. Especially since I have a hard time making fun of us when we win.

Road Trip Wrap Up

It's the end of the first road trip, and usually road trips make me sad. I am, however, pleasantly surprised. Even though we lost today (I hate you Bobby Jenks!) it was a good trip. Here's what I think:

• Jon Rauch makes me happy. He's done a fantastic job of filling in for Joe Nathan. I heard someone say in the postgame show today that it'll only be a matter of time until he fails. Wow, thanks for being a buzz kill.  I, on the other hand, am happy with the way he's gotten 4 saves in 4 chances. And he's 6 foot 11. And I wouldn't find him attractive at all if he didn't have neck tattoos. But he does. So I do.

• I don't understand why Jose Mijares has a job. I really don't. When Jesse Crain is better than you, you need to stop. Just stop.

• I like the new guys. J.J Hardy and Jim Thome especially. Today was the first day that Jim Thome was up to bat with the game on the line and I encouraged him. I felt a little dirty.

• Denard Span needs to get it together. It's ok buddy, we'll wait.

First game at Target Field is tomorrow. I'm excited, but not excited enough to understand why coverage needs to start at 5 a.m. Show us what you've got Pavano!

Halos

What a nice start to the season. We miss you Torii Hunter, but not enough to let you win. Sorry about that. We will see you later this season though. So don't feel sad.

Hullabaloo

Dear Mr. Mauer,

Congratulations on your contract extension and your millions. Good for you. However, I would like to make a list of things that you need to keep in mind during the next 8 years:

1. Due to your immense popularity, I can no longer jump on your bandwagon. You are officially uncool, which is kind of depressing.
2. Again, due to your popularity, it is hard for me to get tickets anymore. This makes me sad and pissy as I have to plan ahead due to a small child (who can say your last name, and is not yet 2) and travel time. This also means that I will have to sit at home and watch what few games they show on television in Northern Wisconsin, and chant "Earn Your Keep" by myself. OH! And it forces me to watch games with my football fanatic husband who thinks baseball is for wusses who can't cut it in football or basketball. But you shouldn't have to pay for Michael Jordan's mistakes I suppose.
3. Cassy's grandma knows your grandpa. Therefore, it's like we're family. Come and visit sometime. I will kick your a** at The Bigs/MLB The Show any day.
4. You're making me sit at my computer, while I should be working, and blog about your money making ability. Now you're cutting into my real life...
5. I'm not sure what else. I just thought that this list needed 5 points.

At any rate, yay for millions. Please do not make us regret giving you a new ballpark and millions of dollars we may/may not have.

~K

8 for $184 Million

You're damn  right that'll bring me out of hiding. As just released by the Star Tribune, Joe Mauer has signed, or will sign tomorrow in an official press release, an 8-year, $184 million contract. Which, by my math, works out to about $23 million a year. Damn. It also includes a full no-trade clause, not that I forsee that being a problem unless he hurts himself. More than he already has I mean.

I'm excited. A little bummed because it's going to be even harder to get tickets to a freakin' game, but excited nonetheless. Congratulations Joe Mauer, now earn your keep.

I guess the news gives me a little boost after hearing Joe Nathan will be out for the season for sure now. I'm sad, and it couldn't have happened to a guy who deserved this blow less. When I watched the game today, he looked like he was handling the news beautifully. And, I must say, demonstrated his talent for doing play by plays, so hopefully he'll be around this season. I will miss the "Fear the Nathan" sign though.

One last thing, I'm liking Orlando Hudson. He's a class act. And quite humorous when I watched the interview with him later. We better be winning this season, because we're all going to be disappointed if we don't.

Tomorrow = Exactly two weeks until the season kicks off!