Hullabaloo

Dear Mr. Mauer,

Congratulations on your contract extension and your millions. Good for you. However, I would like to make a list of things that you need to keep in mind during the next 8 years:

1. Due to your immense popularity, I can no longer jump on your bandwagon. You are officially uncool, which is kind of depressing.
2. Again, due to your popularity, it is hard for me to get tickets anymore. This makes me sad and pissy as I have to plan ahead due to a small child (who can say your last name, and is not yet 2) and travel time. This also means that I will have to sit at home and watch what few games they show on television in Northern Wisconsin, and chant "Earn Your Keep" by myself. OH! And it forces me to watch games with my football fanatic husband who thinks baseball is for wusses who can't cut it in football or basketball. But you shouldn't have to pay for Michael Jordan's mistakes I suppose.
3. Cassy's grandma knows your grandpa. Therefore, it's like we're family. Come and visit sometime. I will kick your a** at The Bigs/MLB The Show any day.
4. You're making me sit at my computer, while I should be working, and blog about your money making ability. Now you're cutting into my real life...
5. I'm not sure what else. I just thought that this list needed 5 points.

At any rate, yay for millions. Please do not make us regret giving you a new ballpark and millions of dollars we may/may not have.

~K

8 for $184 Million

You're damn  right that'll bring me out of hiding. As just released by the Star Tribune, Joe Mauer has signed, or will sign tomorrow in an official press release, an 8-year, $184 million contract. Which, by my math, works out to about $23 million a year. Damn. It also includes a full no-trade clause, not that I forsee that being a problem unless he hurts himself. More than he already has I mean.

I'm excited. A little bummed because it's going to be even harder to get tickets to a freakin' game, but excited nonetheless. Congratulations Joe Mauer, now earn your keep.

I guess the news gives me a little boost after hearing Joe Nathan will be out for the season for sure now. I'm sad, and it couldn't have happened to a guy who deserved this blow less. When I watched the game today, he looked like he was handling the news beautifully. And, I must say, demonstrated his talent for doing play by plays, so hopefully he'll be around this season. I will miss the "Fear the Nathan" sign though.

One last thing, I'm liking Orlando Hudson. He's a class act. And quite humorous when I watched the interview with him later. We better be winning this season, because we're all going to be disappointed if we don't.

Tomorrow = Exactly two weeks until the season kicks off!

OMG!

People, I don't like this business with Joe Nathan. As much as Mr. Nathan appears to love the 9th inning drama (giving me a heart attack in the process...) he usually comes through for us. Then comes the wonderful news that he may be heading for Tommy John to repair ligaments (!)which will end his season.

Mkay, I know that he may (or may not) need the surgery to continue his stellar throwing ability, but what are we supposed to do without a closer??! HMM??

The article I mentioned above gives us a run down of those bullpen men (bullmen?) who would be our best bets should Nathan be out for the year. Here are my opinions on the Bullmen, and who should replace our beloved other Joe:

• Jose Mijares: Not sure we can trust him as far as we can throw him. Also, I know relatively nothing about him. No news it not always good news, Jose.
• Matt Guerrier: I like me some Matty. He's tall and has that cute little blonde curly hair that reminds me so much of cute lil Scotty Baker. Matty is a wonderful extended inning set up man, and I think I like him like that.
• John Rauch: Holy mother of neck tattoos! I have to say that John might be our best bet as a closer (I agreed with the article). I know I would poop/pee myself if I had to face him at the plate. Not only is he Ginormous, but he looks like he just got released from prison! Holy buckets.
• Jesse Crain: Wait, we gave him a contract?!?
• Pat Neshek: AAAH!! I'm so exited Patty is back! *sings* Sidearm slinging, we are singing... Patty could come in and help close the door! Plus I find him attractive. And it's nice to see more attractive people play baseball.
• Francisco Liriano: I'm a little confused by the mention of Liriano as a closer. Last year, he could barely get a strike, and the 9th inning is kinda when we need some. But if the reports can be believed, he's doing much better this spring, so he may not even be a consideration...

At any rate, we have some tough choices to make for who we send to the 9th. Let's hope its a fearsome tattooed choice.