A note to the fans. And Cassy.

I need to appologize for the absence of my beautiful, rambling, animated blog posts for the last month or so (maybe less.) My personal life has unfortunately prevented me from enjoying my boys at the Metrodome, or anywhere else for that matter. You see, I decided it was a good idea to get married waaaay back in July of last year. This was poor planning on my part given that the '09 Twins schedule had not been posted yet. As you have probably gathered from Cassy's last blog post, she was upset (ha! Understatement!) that she had to miss Brewer's weekend at the 'Dome.
Now to be fair, when I found out that my wedding was to be on this most critical of rivalry weekends, I decided to go to my fiance about it.

Me: Honey, baby, sweetie pie. Can I ask you something?
JB (fiance): Yeah, what?
Me: The Twins schedule was posted today and guess what? Our wedding takes place when the Brewers are at the Metrodome.
JB: You're not making sense. What does any of this have to do with football?

As you can see, the conversation was less than successful. Needless to say I was unable to negotiate with JB regarding the rescheduling of our wedding to a less important, Kansas City filled weekend. (Hey, nobody really wants to see Kansas City play anymore. That's right. I said it!) So, much to Cassy's chagrin, she had to forgo Friday and Saturday's games in favor of watching me and JB get married, drunk, and happy.

So on to business. You want to know what was really disappointing? The loss to Boston on Monday. How was that for my first game "back" after a months hiatus. What the crap was Liriano doing out there?? He needs some help and he needs it fast; though congrats to the offense on having a decent game despite.

Take That Brew-Crew!

After missing 2 out of the 3 Twins/Brewers games due to Kristen's nuptials, I was stoked to watch the game tonight.

Here's the thing. I don't like watching my boys get smacked by baseballs. I'm talking to you, Dave Bush. I couldn't help but notice that you came very close to hitting Joe Mauer in the face after he got a homerun and a single off of you. I have to warn you ... if you mess up Joe Mauer's face, there will be a whole legion of angry Minnesotans after you with pitchforks. Ever seen Beauty and the Beast? You know the part where the mob storms the castle? Yeah, it's like that.

Then, you hit Joe Crede. Also, after he hit a homerun. And then he came out of the game. I will call the mob myself if his hand keeps him out of future games. Not cool.

Then comes the relief. Who, coincidentally, hit Joe Mauer in the hand. While I'm impressed that Gardy won an argument with an umpire, I don't appreciate you going after Joe either.

Ok, now that I got that off of my chest, kudos to the boys for 3 homeruns. Justin, your grand slam was a thing of beauty. You made my heart smile.

Ponderings

What I imagine happened in the clubhouse Friday before game 1 vs. the Mariners. (And I'm betting this is pretty close to verbatim)

Justin: Hey, guys, so I was thinking. You know Cassy, the girl who writes the Chicks On Second blog?

Nick Punto: Oh yeah! She's freakin' hilarious.

Justin: Right, and so loyal. I was thinking about what her and the other Chicks have been through the last few weeks. Like that 9-0 loss to Detroit. And the sweep by the Orioles (as the team winces in pain.) And really, don't we owe them? She's so understanding of our facial hair and my Canadian-ness.

Joe: You know what J? I think you're right. You know what you all should do? Shave your damn faces! Sure, she may look a little stupid for blogging about it and then the SAME night we all have clean faces, but really, she does love the baby face look.

Team: Yeah! Good idea Joe.

Justin: You know what else we should do? Joe, let's hit back to back home runs two nights in a row, because chicks dig the long ball.

Joe: Ooooh ... and I'll do my patented rub down on Francisco Liriano because it makes her smile.

Liriano: Wait what?!?!?!

Joe: (Ignoring Francisco) Yeah, all right let's do it.

Denard: Guys, I can't shave all of my beard off! How am I going to look intimidating? I'm only going to clean it up a little. She's gotta understand, right?


Of course I understand Denard, it's all good. And you boys may not have won on Sunday, but ... two out of three from the Mariners is pretty damn sweet.

And Cuddy? That three-run jack on Saturday? HOT.

Helpful Facial Hair?

Did anyone notice the plethora of facial hair last night? Cuddy's beard is coming in quite nicely. Justin's is still growing in like he's 13 and thrilled that he's got stubble. Crede's ... whatever you want to call that ... is back. Kubel and Span are keeping their beards at a Grizzly Adams level. Even Perkins looked a little scraggly.

I'm wondering if this is a group effort to rally themselves. While I generally don't support facial hair ... I'm in full support of something that will pull us out of this suck we seem to find ourselves in. If facial hair is the thing to do that ... then I say let's get out the beard combs. As a favor to the team, I will swallow my general disgust of facial hair in the hopes we will kick the crap out of the Mariners tonight.

Oh... Sad.

Why did we have to get beat by the Orioles? Dear God, why?!

Congratulations

Real quick:

Congratulations to Carlos Gomez and his wife on the birth of their son.

Congratulations also to Joe Crede and his wife on the birth of their third child.


Female Twins fans ... I wouldn't drink the water at the Dome, there are babies being born everywhere!!

And welcome back Joe! Thanks for reminding me how much you were missed by smacking a homerun on your first at bat back. Let's go Twins!