A Letter To Joe

Dear Joe Mauer,

I am writing to inform you that your presence is requested at the Metrodome as soon as possible. While we do all miss your impressive hitting and even more impressive ability to throw runners out when they are silly enough to try and steal second, there is a more pressing matter at hand.

You may remember your former roommate, Justin. (Blond hair, really big arms? Canadian?) Well, he's not doing so well. We can only ascertain that it's because he misses you terribly. Attempts to acclimate him to another Joe have been relatively unsuccessful.

You see, he's not hitting as well as he could. He's having trouble getting runners in when they are in scoring position. You and I both know this isn't like him. Things would be better for him if he had his former roommate back to encourage him. You know he has said that you are never allowed to leave him, so it's probably best if you return from Ft. Myers as soon as possible. We hear your back is in fine shape, so it's time.

If you could return before he loses all confidence, that would be even better. Because right now he's getting surpassed by Jason Kubel (who also has very nice arms) and Joe Crede (he hasn't really shown us his arms yet, but it can only be assumed that they are quite large.)

Thank you Joe, and we are looking forward to your imminent return.

Sincerely,

The Chicks on Second Girls.