Last night I became incredibly aware of the full strength of my powers. As a quick background - three of the Twinkies have a special place in my heart. Kevin Slowey, Justin Morneau and Denard Span. You may have noticed a trend. Yep, that's right, I accept responsibility. I have now personally felled three of the Twins, and I'm not happy about it. It might be just a coincidence, but Crede always made me smile too. Dammit!
On the upside, we beat Chicago tonight, and that's always a plus. I openly admit that I'd be perfectly happy with second place if it meant we got the bragging rights over Chicago. I think my hatred stems mainly from the fact that I was once denied service at Taco Johns because I was wearing a Twins shirt. The Chi Sox kept me from my potato ole's, and for that I want them to suffer for all of eternity. That may sound harsh, but sometimes a girl needs potato ole's and that's all there is to it.
I think I might also be ok with second place because I got an invoice in the mail today for postseason tickets for the amount of $5000. After my head stopped spinning I said a small prayer to the baseball gods that we finish behind the Tigers. Oops. But then I realized I don't actually have to pay for them and I felt a little bit like a traitor. Oops again.
Hopefully my evil power won't take down any other players, but to ensure everyone's safety, I'm going on a strike against every player. Except for Glen Perkins. He can file a grievance if he wants to.
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